Marriage Humor

 Wife: 'What are you doing?' 
妻:你在作什麼啊?

Husband : Nothing. 

夫:沒作什麼。

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' 

妻:沒作什麼?你看著我們的結婚證書, 足足有一小時了。

Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
 
夫:我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。
 
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
 
妻:
 要吃晚餐嗎?
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
 
夫:
 當然!我可以選擇嗎?
Wife : 'Yes or no.' 

妻:要或不要。

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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' 

妻:為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡?

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' 

夫:當問題發生時,不管有多困難,我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!' 

妻:你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊!

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' 

夫:是啊!望著妳的照片我問自己,還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢?

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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden..' 

女孩:婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾,以減輕你的負擔。

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' 

男孩:親愛的,妳真體貼,但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' 

女孩:哦?那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。

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Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' 

子:今早我和爹地一起搭車,他要我讓座給一位女士。

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' 

母:嗯,你這麼做是對的。

Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 

子:但是,媽,我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' 

一位新婚的先生問他太太:如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我, 你會嫁給我嗎?

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 

女人溫柔的答道:親愛的,不管是誰留下財產給你, 我都會嫁給你的。
 

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever . 

女孩對著男友說:吻我一下,我就永遠屬於你了。

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
 
男孩回道:謝謝您提早警告我。

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' 

妻問夫:你最喜歡我哪一點?我美麗的臉龐,還是我性感的軀體?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'
 

他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍,回道:我喜歡你的幽默感。
 
 

此文感謝 Jessica Lin Email 提供

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